"My wife "Bridget" and I have an almost-2-year-old son, "Caiden." We took Caiden to the mall today for a photo with Santa and Caiden got freaked out and had a meltdown. Bridget was pissed and now says we have to try again as she is determined to get a photo of our son smiling with Santa for her parents. Our son is scared of strangers in general and I really don't think this is a good idea right now."
"Alright, first off-let's forget about your son's potential Santa phobia and spend more time focusing on why you're so afraid of your wife. Because, honestly, I don't think "Hey, let's not subject Caiden (or the overworked mall Santa) to another traumatic incident this year!" should be that difficult of a request. Let me ask you-are your in-laws psychotic Santa freaks, too? Are they going to cut off Caiden's trust fund if he can't keep his shit together while sitting on that strange man's lap?"
"Whatever version of this is true, your instinct is correct to tell Bridget that you have a few more years to get this photo right and that it's borderline abusive if she keeps trotting him out there when he's clearly not ready. If Bridget laughs you off dismissively, there is only one thing left to do: Fill her entire underwear drawer with coal."
An almost-two-year-old named Caiden panicked during a mall Santa photo, prompting his mother to insist on trying again to capture a smiling portrait for her parents. The child shows general stranger anxiety, and trying to force a cheerful picture risks teaching him to fear a character he might later enjoy. The father's preference to wait until Caiden is older is supported as sensible; allowing a few years gives the child time to warm up without pressure. Repeated coercion can be emotionally harmful and is described as borderline abusive. If a partner dismisses concerns, respond gently and prioritize the child's comfort.
Read at Slate Magazine
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