"I know the school needs to keep you informed, but I really do question whether a phone call home after every incident is helpful or productive. Think about whether you want to suggest a standing monthly (or quarterly?) call or meeting, so you can be aware of what's happening at school. They can continue to call you if and when they feel it's necessary, following major incidents, but I don't think it should be every time anything happens."
"As the fellow parent of a neurodivergent kid, I've had my share of heart-sinking calls and school meetings. I get the impulse you have to apologize on every call. But honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't. First of all, it's not your fault. Second, the focus shouldn't be on the teacher's feelings (if that is indeed where her focus is). And your "sorry" doesn't actually help the school or the teacher help your son."
A first-grade parent receives frequent emails and calls reporting that a six-year-old neurodivergent child has had a 'rough day.' The incidents include getting frustrated and kicking a chair, screaming when pressured to change a pencil grip, and getting upset when a desired toy is unavailable. The parent feels compelled to apologize after each call and has never had a positive conversation with the teacher. The advice is to question the value of calls after every incident and propose scheduled monthly or quarterly check-ins, with immediate calls reserved for major incidents. The advice also recommends not apologizing reflexively and focusing communication on solutions to support the child's learning.
Read at Slate Magazine
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