"Dear LSDL, When my son was younger, I always explained his father's absence by saying, "Your dad loved you so much but knew he wasn't able to be a parent. He knew that Mommy loved you and would be able to take care of you always." This felt like an adequate explanation for a small child, and since he rarely asked questions about his father, I never really went any deeper with it."
"Now that we are nearing the teen years, I feel like I should give him a more fleshed-out history. I also worry about the genetic predisposition to addiction; from a clinical perspective, this information is necessary for the choices he will be faced with making in the upcoming years. Should I bring up this history in our conversations about why his father, or anyone else from his father's family, is"
Tell the child the truth about his father's addiction in an age-appropriate way. Present addiction as a health condition rather than a moral failing and avoid secrecy or shame. Explain genetic predisposition as a risk factor, not a predetermined destiny, and emphasize environmental choices and coping strategies that reduce risk. Share relevant family medical history when helpful and connect the child with medical or mental-health resources as needed. Maintain open, nonjudgmental communication, model healthy behavior, reassure the child of love and support, and provide practical guidance on prevention and seeking help if concerns arise.
Read at Slate Magazine
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