"There isn't much you can do, unfortunately, but it is worth trying to speak with your daughter-in-law. You can try lovingly talking to her about her behavior and your concerns about her relationship with her stepchildren and their mother. It's possible that by confronting her directly and with care, she may be inspired to change her ways...but it isn't likely, especially if you've already tried to discuss these issues with her before."
"Otherwise, you can offer support to your grandchildren by being someone they can talk to about their frustrations with their stepmother and by talking to their father about what's going on. It's possible that he doesn't realize how much her behavior is affecting them, particularly your granddaughter, and they need to have someone advocate on their behalf. Let him know that things need to change in order for his children to feel happy and secu"
Try lovingly talking with the daughter-in-law about her behavior and concerns regarding her relationship with her stepchildren and their mother. Recognize that direct, caring confrontation might inspire change but change is unlikely, especially after previous attempts. Offer support to the grandchildren by being someone they can talk to about frustrations with their stepmother. Speak with the father to ensure he understands how his partner's behavior affects the children and to encourage him to advocate for them. Focus on creating safety and happiness for the children and accept limited control over the daughter-in-law's actions.
Read at Slate Magazine
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