"For forty years, somebody always needed something from me. First it was customers calling about electrical problems. Then it was Danny and Kevin needing rides to practice, help with homework, someone to teach them how to throw a curveball or fix a flat tire. Even after they grew up and moved out, the phone kept ringing. Dad, can you look at my breaker box? Dad, the baby's sick and we don't know what to do? Dad, should I take this job or keep looking?"
"What I didn't realize was how much mental space it was taking up. I was always half-waiting for the next thing. Even when I was supposedly relaxing, watching the game or working in the garage, part of my brain was on standby. Ready to jump up, grab my tools, solve the problem."
"That's when it hit me. I wasn't checking my phone because I was expecting something important. I was checking it because I didn't know what else to do with myself. And somewhere along the way, I'd started confusing my kids not needing me with them not caring about me."
A retired electrician reflects on forty years of being constantly needed—first by customers, then by his sons Danny and Kevin, and later by his adult children seeking advice and help. After retirement, he expected this mental state of readiness to disappear, but it persisted as compulsive phone-checking. One morning, he realizes he checks his phone not from expectation but from habit and anxiety about not being needed. Recognizing the confusion between his children's independence and their lack of care, he experiences a breakthrough moment of peace while observing birds at his window. He understands that relinquishing the role of constant problem-solver allows him to simply exist in the present rather than perpetually waiting for the next crisis.
#identity-and-purpose #retirement-transition #parental-role-evolution #mental-health-and-anxiety #finding-peace-in-acceptance
Read at Silicon Canals
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