Is an Only Child Enough?

Many parents who initially planned for multiple children now have only one. Fertility rates below two births per woman are becoming the global norm, with the U.S. rate at historic lows. The one-child family is the fastest-growing family unit across developed countries. People of childbearing age increasingly reject the traditional two-children expectation, yet social pressure to conform persists. Scientific research undermines stereotypes that only children are lonely, selfish, or bossy. Evidence indicates real benefits to being an only child and to parenting one child, and societal acceptance of single-child families is rising.

We all imagine the family we want. For some, it's replicating the family of a friend or our own. It might include many siblings, one sibling, or no siblings at all. Historically, what has been considered the traditional family-a boy for you and a girl for me-has dominated most people's thinking. Although many still say they want two children, the reality is that's not what's happening. Rather, the one-child family is the fastest-growing family unit in the U.S. and throughout developed countries.

Those of childbearing age demonstrate no need to fit the bygone family formula-two parents, two kids. Nonetheless, many experience a nagging feeling to persist in this approach to family. That highlights the importance of recognizing status quo expectations for what they are, instead of giving in to them. Like many women today, I was older when I had a child. Within a month of my child's birth, people were quizzing me: When are you having another? How can you do that to your child? I started to wonder what could be so problematic about having one child and embarked on a decades-long investigation of only children.

Being "One and Done" Today more than ever, science doesn't hold up to the single child stereotypes that, fortunately, are fading fast: Only children are not particularly lonely or selfish or bossy as children or adults. In fact, the benefits of being an only child and being the parent of one are substantial.

Read at Psychology Today