"It started after my dad died right before Christmas when I was 15, and because my mother didn't want to organize the holidays, I stepped in. Every year, I fell into the same role in our family home, until my first apartment after high school became the center of all family gatherings. Then, I had kids in my early 20s, and my ex-husband wasn't interested in the holidays, rarely shopping for gifts or participating in decorations or meals when we were together."
"This season, the logistics of school closure dates and the parenting plan I have with my ex meant our three children will spend both the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays with their father for the first time in 17 years. At first, I was nervous. Now, after making it through the first major holiday without an enormous to-do list, I couldn't be more thrilled."
"Learning to let go wasn't easy. In the wee hours of Thanksgiving Thursday, I jetted to Mexico to walk in the sun and eat molcajete and charred octopus. I had to force myself to travel far enough away so that I would actually release control. It was even more complicated because my kids were recovering from the flu. While I texted my ex constantly, monitoring their symptoms until they felt better, my cell service wasn't consistent."
She assumed the role of family holiday organizer at 15 after her father died and her mother declined to lead the celebrations. She maintained family rituals into adulthood, hosting gatherings in her first apartment and continuing traditions after having children in her early 20s while her ex-husband remained disengaged. As a busy single parent she planned elaborate holidays to build lasting memories. This season, scheduling and the parenting plan resulted in all three children spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with their father for the first time in 17 years. She traveled to Mexico to force emotional distance, monitored her children's health by text, and felt unexpectedly thrilled after experiencing a holiday without a massive to-do list.
Read at Business Insider
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