"But now that I'm pregnant, I'm feeling kind of ... ambivalent about it. Not scared or panicked, just not particularly excited. It's still very early weeks, and we live in a Blue state, so my options are open. When I try to envision terminating the pregnancy (envisioning this is something my therapist encouraged me to do), I don't feel relief; I just feel more confused."
"To me, it suggests the push and pull you're experiencing between the craving you're feeling (for, in your own words, "the richness" adding another member to your family would, you believe, provide-which, I imagine, was why you wanted and planned for this third child) and the natural, completely understandable-to-me sudden recognition that a third child will make your life more difficult and will surely require some sacrifices."
A pregnant parent expecting a third, who initially planned and wanted the child, reports surprising ambivalence rather than excitement. The parent does not feel relief when envisioning termination and instead feels more confused. The ambivalence stems from tension between not wanting to complicate a relatively easy life with two children and craving the perceived richness another child would bring. The parent is not fond of the baby stage and notes a supportive partner who would accept either decision. The ambivalence is interpreted as a meaningful signal of competing desires and recognition that adding a child will require sacrifices.
Read at Slate Magazine
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