"I recently found out I'm pregnant, which is a surprise, but a happy one. It's early, so I didn't want to tell anyone yet. A friend, who's struggled for years with infertility, just had her baby shower, where they served wine, and though I tried to just say I didn't feel like drinking and change the subject, several different people tried to offer me wine and question why I wouldn't take it."
"Then, I got sick (why is it called "morning sickness" when it's all day?!) and multiple people straight-up asked if I was pregnant. I didn't want to lie, since they'd find out eventually, so I said yes. They were all thrilled for me and showered me with congratulations, except, of course, for the friend whose shower it actually was! I said several times I didn't bring it up because we were here to celebrate said friend,"
A woman discovered her early pregnancy at a friend's baby shower for a friend who had struggled with infertility and was celebrating a rainbow baby. Attempts to decline wine prompted suspicion, nausea revealed pregnancy, and well-wishers congratulated her, leaving the honored friend upset and accusing her of ruining the celebration. The pregnant woman apologized and asked to call, but the friend did not respond. Appropriate responses include a sincere apology, giving the friend space, acknowledging the friend's pain and infertility history, offering a private, empathetic conversation when ready, and avoiding future announcements at another person's celebratory events.
Read at Slate Magazine
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