"Growing adolescent differences are abrasive, wearing down dependence between parent and child. The parent must maintain caring communication and contact so they can feel connected as they grow apart. Change complaints in the parent-adolescent relationship are not a problem to stop but a reality to accept. The more parents know about what adolescent changes to expect, the less they are likely to become upset."
"Adolescence is abrasive To some degree, adolescent change is necessarily abrasive as growing diversity for individuality and growing detachment for independence gradually wear down the old childhood dependence between them. "The older I get, the harder it can sometimes be for me and my parents to get along." As they become more different and separate from each other compared with the more similar and closer childhood years, their relationship is gradually redefined as they journey together through four transforming stages of youthful change:"
Adolescence typically creates greater tensions between parent and child than during childhood, as growing individuality and detachment erode earlier dependence. Teenagers often feel more insecure while parents feel less confident, and both can find each other harder to live with. Parents need to maintain caring communication and contact to preserve a working connection as differences increase. Complaints about change in the parent-adolescent relationship are not problems to eliminate but realities to accept. Greater parental knowledge about expected adolescent changes reduces upset. The developmental journey progresses through four stages: early (9–13), mid (13–15), late (15–18), and trial independence (18–23).
Read at Psychology Today
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