'He Was Fine. I Was Not': Stephanie Ruhle on the Unexpected Emotions of Dropping Her Son at College

"I don't know where or when or how I read this statistic, but I've been thinking about it a lot recently. "80 percent of the time we ever spend with our kids is over by the time they are 18 years old." I've never fact checked if it's true, but the idea has been circling around my brain since the moment my son was accepted to college - and it's been pounding like a drum ever since."

"By the time late August rolled around, the blue Amazon bags filled with everything he could possibly need for school were practically blocking my front door. I just kept filling up all the space. The night before we left, I stacked them in the powder room and they were so high, I couldn't see myself in the mirror anymore. Perhaps foreshadowing what was to come."

"Then it actually happened. Freshman drop-off. It went seamlessly. Smoothly. He did it. We did it. Dream pursued. Goal achieved. Heart full. Without conflict, interruption, crisis or hiccups. My boy became a college man. We stayed for a few days to ensure every possible thing was in place, every storage container labeled. Then we re-packed the car for the long drive back home with about a third of the "Instagram must-have dorm" purchases, hopefully in time to return them."

A parent reflects on a statistic that 80 percent of the time spent with children may be over by age 18 and has pondered it intensely. Extensive months of planning, organizing, shopping, and labeling preceded a college move-in. The freshman drop-off proceeded smoothly and the child adapted and thrived. The parent experienced pride and excitement alongside unexpected shame, sadness, and anxiety. The parent contrasted the child's eagerness for new beginnings with a personal clinging to familiar roles and control, noticing physical symbols of transition and an ensuing sense of emptiness.

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