"Most parents have been in a situation where a great aunt holds out her arms expectantly for a young child to dutifully provide a hug, and our child doesn't go rushing forward. The dynamics in this situation can be tricky for a lot of people, particularly in families where parents feel likely to be judged and criticized. Nobody wants their relatives to be offended and certainly nobody wants relatives huffing to others that our children are unfriendly or rude or ungrateful."
"About 10% of children are sexually assaulted before they turn 18 and they are overwhelmingly assaulted by people whom they know (Putnam, 2003). This is a staggeringly high number. While most people don't appreciate the degree of risk, sexual abuse is in fact the most common serious threat that kids face. I am a pediatric emergency medicine physician, but I also work in childhood sexual abuse prevention, and whenever I meet people and explain what I do, everyone has a story."
Children should not be forced to show physical affection to relatives or anyone. Letting children control their own physical space reduces harm and supports bodily autonomy. Teaching children that they must provide affection on demand teaches compliance that can enable abuse. About 10% of children are sexually assaulted before age 18, usually by someone they know. Sexual abuse is the most common serious threat to children. Parents should model and teach consent, offer alternatives to hugs like waving or verbal greetings, honor children's refusals, and prioritize children's safety and comfort over adult feelings of offense.
Read at Psychology Today
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