Dear Abby: I'm resentful that my family opposes the rules about my baby

"My doctor is recommending that anyone who visits the baby in the first three months be up to date on vaccines (Tdap, flu, COVID and, for age 60-plus, RSV). We have decided to follow our doctor's recommendations. Some of my family members are resistant to getting these vaccines and want us to consider other options, like testing and wearing a mask, which is not as safe."

"Also, it would be hard for younger kids to do my niece is 3. Abby, we vaccinated our young children (3 and 5) at the time our niece was born, as part of what my sister requested. I am already stressed about this situation and do not want to talk it to death with my family, and I have grown resentful because of it. In the past, I have set boundaries with my family, and most of them have not been understood or received well."

"When your baby arrives, the responsibility for its welfare will rest mostly on you, the mother. Follow your doctor's medical advice to protect your child. If family members don't want to respect your wishes and do what they must to avoid endangering your baby (as you did for them), realize you can't change their minds, and keep your distance for the first three months."

"For nearly five years, my adult daughter was a domestic violence victim. My husband and I have done everything to support her freedom and new path. However, during her journey, she claimed that I had been abusive to her as a child. I do not recall any action I took that could be considered abusive, nor does my husband or her siblings. I am finding it difficult to rationalize her recollection of events when she didn't recognize her recent relationship was abusive."

A pregnant parent intends to require visitors to be vaccinated (Tdap, flu, COVID, and RSV for ages 60-plus) during the newborn's first three months to reduce health risks. The parent will follow medical guidance, limit contact, and keep distance if family members refuse vaccination because testing and masks are less protective and young children may not comply. The requirement has caused stress and resentment due to repeated boundary conflicts within the family. Separately, a mother describes an adult daughter who, after suffering domestic violence, accuses her of childhood abuse—a claim the mother and other relatives do not recall. The mother recommends therapy while maintaining she did not commit abuse.

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