"I have a 16-year-old teenaged girl, and I am really torn! I fear for her safety above all else, and I want her to know that she can always, always, always call me if she needs a sober ride home or if she finds herself in a bad situation. Even if she's been drinking, even if she's out past curfew, even if she's breaking every rule in the book."
"I have a very straightforward answer to this: you cannot implement consequences at all if you want your teen to call you when she is in trouble. Because then she won't call you. If you give her that "get out of jail free" card to call you at any time to help her, you have to help her and not freak out about the situation she put herself in."
Prioritize a teen's immediate safety over punitive enforcement when they seek help. Do not apply consequences for calling for assistance; applying punishment will discourage teens from reaching out in dangerous situations. If a parent offers a 'get out of jail free' option to rescue a teen, the parent must honor that promise and remain calm rather than reacting with anger. Recognize that adolescent brains are not fully developed and that teens often cannot accurately assess risk. Maintain clear nonemergency rules and expectations, but keep emergency help unconditional so a teen never fears calling for safety.
Read at Scary Mommy
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