Are There Situations Where a Child Should be Required to Hug or Kiss a Relative?

"Forcing children to accept unwanted affection can send a harmful message, according to Karen Days, the former president of the Center for Family Safety and Healing at Nationwide Children's Hospital. Days explained that this kind of forced affection can teach children the wrong lesson: that people they know are always allowed to touch them. She pointed out that while parents often emphasize "stranger danger," they don't always stress that familiar adults must also respect personal boundaries."

"Parents, Days said, need to help children understand that if something makes them feel uncomfortable, they don't have to do it, even if it's a hug requested by a grandparent, uncle, or cousin. Many adults, she noted, offer children hugs and kisses not out of bad intent but from a desire to feel loved and connected. Still, parents shouldn't place their children in uncomfortable situations simply to spare a relative"

Thanksgiving and other family gatherings commonly include expected physical greetings that can pressure children into hugs. Conflicting lessons about body privacy and safety create tension between manners and bodily autonomy. Experts emphasize that physical touch should never be coercive and that forcing affection can teach children that familiar people are always allowed to touch them. Parents should teach children that discomfort is valid and that they can refuse unwanted contact, even from relatives. Many adults offer hugs from affection, but parents should not place children in uncomfortable situations merely to spare a relative, and should model and enforce respectful boundaries.

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