"Red Raider Christian Anderson slipped and fell awkwardly on an inbounds play while trying to break free from a double team. Whoever was working the silly court's LED arsenal made sure the lighting looked marvelous for ESPN's overhead shot of Anderson sprawled on his back, writhing in pain. The sophomore guard, who'd been named first-team All Big 12 earlier this week, limped to the bench still clutching his naughty bits."
"CBS Sports reported Thursday night that the commissioner, who came to the Big 12 after a run as COO of Jay Z's Roc Nation, decided to yank his avant-garde surface and replace it with a traditional hardwood court forthwith. Yormark said he made the decision after talking to the coaches of our four semifinal teams."
"Both Anderson and Watts told postgame interviewers it was time for the commish to end his experiment. They see a basketball court as Seinfeld's Newman saw the chicken at Kenny Rogers Roasters: It's the wood that makes it good."
Big 12 commissioner Brett Yormark installed a high-tech LED glass court for the conference tournament in Kansas City, but the experiment failed after multiple player injuries. During an Iowa State-Texas Tech quarterfinal game, Texas Tech guard Christian Anderson suffered a groin pull on the slick surface, followed by teammate LeJuan Watts injuring his foot. Both players and coaches criticized the glass court, prompting Yormark to immediately remove it and replace it with traditional hardwood. The glass court proved unsuitable for basketball flooring despite working well for backboards, leading to the swift abandonment of the avant-garde surface.
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