In a move criticized for its reactive nature, NYC Mayor Eric Adams unveiled a $1.6 million initiative to equip 500 bodegas with panic buttons designed to connect directly to the NYPD. This strategy, dubbed the Panic Button Doctrine™, has been mocked for prioritizing after-the-fact crime response over proactive measures. Critics suggest this approach is emblematic of a shift in crime prevention philosophy, evoking nostalgia for the 'Broken Windows' policing strategy that aimed to address minor offenses to deter serious crimes. Adams' metaphorical comparison of policing to cartoon cats and mice has further fueled skepticism within the community.
Now, under Mayor Eric Adams, we've entered a bold new era: that of the Panic Button Doctrine™. Why stop crime before it happens when you can just install a $3,200 plastic button to press after it starts?
These state-of-the-art buttons will connect directly to the NYPD's command center, bypassing those pesky 911 operators who waste your time with trivial questions like 'what's your emergency?' and 'what's your location?'
Instead of just having the cats keeping away the rats, we're going to have a direct connection with the police to keep away those dangerous cats that try to rob our stores,
Now the city will spend $1.6 million to place panic buttons in 500 bodegas - a plan so reactive, so symbolic, it makes President Trump's Oval Office Diet Coke button look like real infrastructure.
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