"I finally spent the night at his place, and we hooked up that night and again the next morning. I stayed most of the day and was getting ready to leave when he told me he's HIV-positive. I gave him a kiss and said I understood and that this changed nothing between us, but honestly, I was disappointed he was only telling me now."
"He said he was scared because he's had people react violently before. He said status conversations don't usually happen anyway, and that he's undetectable, posing little to no risk. But I still felt thrown. I've been in this situation before, and I promised myself I wouldn't ignore that feeling again."
"I know he says he's undetectable and that the risk is basically nonexistent. But that doesn't change the fact that I didn't get to make a fully informed choice. And part of me felt like if I didn't report it, he'd just do this to someone else."
A person met someone on Hinge and became intimate without being informed of their partner's HIV-positive status until after sexual contact occurred. The partner explained he was undetectable, meaning the viral load posed minimal transmission risk, and cited fear of violent reactions as reason for delayed disclosure. The person reported the partner to Hinge for not disclosing STD status before sexual activity. The partner responded by reporting back, resulting in permanent bans for both users. The person struggles with feeling blindsided despite understanding the medical reality of undetectable status, believing informed consent was violated and fearing the partner might repeat this pattern with others.
Read at Queerty
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