"While schoolboys huddled around computer screens unashamedly watching live cricket matches on full volume, I don't recall groups of girls gathering openly to watch the new BTS or One Direction music video. Those viewings happened in private over late-night Skype calls or on the back bench of a classroom with a shared laptop between my best friend and me."
"Why was obsession a sin only girls could commit? Why is displaying genuine emotion so quickly misconstrued as parasocial attachment or unhealthy dependence? When does interest become obsession? What is the threshold? And why don't young men get measured on the same scale?"
"Rather than cringing (as I usually do when reflecting on anything from my past), I feel protective of the girl who found solace, connection and belonging in something others dismissed or felt entitled to mock."
The author reflects on hiding her teenage BTS fandom due to shame and social pressure, contrasting how girls privately consumed fan content while boys openly watched sports. She questions why female obsession is stigmatized as unhealthy or parasocial while male enthusiasm faces no equivalent scrutiny. The author examines the gendered standards applied to emotional expression and deep interest, noting how girls are discouraged from displaying genuine passion. She reconsiders her past self with compassion, recognizing that fandom provided solace, connection, and belonging during a lonely transition to university. The reflection challenges societal narratives that dismiss female fan culture as frivolous or problematic.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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