"Sarah (not her real name) began by relating her good news: "Well, I landed that new job I applied for, and my husband and I got through the crisis I told you about." Her voice, however, was surprisingly rueful, as if she were reporting that life was worse than before. I felt a wave of happiness for her, but before I could say so, she went on to complain about the new job and her relationship."
"Sarah was certainly exhibiting how suffering arises. What had recently seemed to be the key to her happiness-if only she could get the job and stop quarreling with her spouse, then life would be great-was now a source of dissatisfaction. Our discussion revealed that she repeatedly experienced being disappointed whenever she actually got what she sought. In response, she would create new expectations, and the cycle would repeat itself."
Expectations often create a self-reinforcing cycle of desire, attachment, and disappointment that generates much personal suffering. People may believe that achieving specific outcomes will bring lasting happiness, only to find the desired outcome becomes a new source of dissatisfaction. Unmet or fulfilled expectations can both produce irritability, disappointment, and disillusionment, and they can lead to unkind words, unskillful actions, and poor decisions. Expectations can persist even when evidence shows they are unfounded, sustaining the cycle. Mindful examination of expectations and attachments can reveal how suffering arises and interrupt repetitive patterns.
Read at Yoga Journal
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