"That is, a way to speak your truth, even when it's unwanted, that allows you to honor our understandable fear, and also consider your actual reality. It doesn't mean ignoring the potential consequences, but at the same time, not letting the fear dictate your behavior, with no alternatives other than silence or inauthenticity. In other words, how to heal the dread associated with being displeasing and disapproved of that stems from your conditioning, generational history and experience."
"But in order to find true safety, the sort that's powerful enough to overcome even deeply-ingrained fears that live in the wires of our nervous system, what's needed is more than mindful communication strategies. In fact, we need to redefine our whole notion of safety, what it means, what it requires, and how to create it. We need to cultivate a new and different version of safety, one that we can trust in all kinds of inclement emotional weather,"
Women often fear conflict because of historical costs such as loss of connection, approval, and safety. That fear can produce silence or inauthenticity unless alternatives and practices are developed. Healing requires honoring fear while realistically assessing actual threats and choosing how to speak truth in ways that preserve safety. Safety must shift from an external, outcome-dependent concept to an internal, controllable resource that can be trusted across emotional conditions. Cultivating internal safety and practical strategies helps override nervous-system–level fears and enables movement from paralysis to truthful action while protecting connection and survival.
Read at Psychology Today
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