Learning From Loneliness: The Gateless Gate

"Of course. That's just what we do as human beings. That's also why it's very important to understand projection. We do it ourselves! I do it with my teacher. I'm very aware of it most of the time. There are so many examples of that in spiritual communities and business communities at all levels. Chodo and I really support each other in that, which is very helpful. For example, when one of us has just experienced it with a student. We can talk about what that's like and how not to take it personally. How do we help guide that student?"

"This post is Part 2 of a two-part series. Author, Zen teacher, and Jungian psychotherapist Koshin Paley Ellison is a leader in the contemplative medicine movement. With his husband, Robert Chodo Campbell, he co-founded the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care in 2007. He is the author of Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion, among other books. Robert Chodo Campbell is a teacher in the Soto Zen tradition who specializes in helping those suffering with the complexities of death and dying, aging, and sobriety. He is on the faculty of the University of Arizona Medical School's Center for Integrative Medicine."

Projection and transference are common and inevitable dynamics within spiritual relationships. Teachers and students frequently project parental and other relational material onto one another. Teachers benefit from recognizing projections, supporting one another, and not taking projected material personally. Suffering, including loneliness, can function as a gate to awareness when approached with presence. Psychotherapy can help untangle personal problems, while meditation trains the capacity to remain still and rooted amid emotional disturbance. Awareness and attunement help teachers notice seductive power dynamics and refrain from latching onto reactive thoughts or behavior.

Read at Psychology Today