A Teacher Shares A Way to End Kids' Arguments Instantly. It Works on Adults, Too

"When two third-grade girls began trading insults while lined up for the bus, Shelby Rideout, an educator in Tennessee, stepped in before the argument could escalate. Within minutes, the tension had dissolved, the girls were chatting easily, and what had threatened to become a hallway standoff ended on a distinctly kumbaya-like note. Rideout shared her disarmingly simple approach in a TikTok video: if you go looking for a problem, you will almost always find one; look instead for common ground, and conflict often loosens its grip."

"She started by pointing out that both students were "really kind girls and a lot of fun" creating a neutral, positive space. That opened the door for the girls to identify connections on their own. One of them chimed in, "Do you know what else we have in common? ... Jesus." Another connection followed - "Ethiopian food." "Problem solved," Rideout said in the clip, recalling how moments later, the girl were "hooting and hollering and laughing.""

"Rideout, 51, a mother of four in Tennessee, is the founder of Bright Signs Learning, a program that introduces children to sign language, but she also works as a substitute teacher. She told TODAY.com that the same principle she used with the third graders guides her everyday life. Rideout said the approach applies even to politics, where divisions can feel insurmountable. When Rideout reads the news, she doesn't see people as enemies but as individuals trying to solve problems in different ways. "Whether someone leans left or right," she says, "most people are motivated by the same goal: to make things better.""

Shelby Rideout intervened when two third-grade girls began trading insults and reframed the situation by highlighting that both were kind and fun, creating a neutral, positive space. The girls then discovered shared connections such as religion and food, which immediately eased tensions and led to laughter. Rideout applies the same method in everyday life and views political opponents as individuals trying to solve problems. Focusing on shared intentions rather than differences can defuse frustration and open space for understanding. Rideout teaches sign language and works as a substitute teacher, using these principles with children regularly.

Read at TODAY.com