"Many of us have developed habits of working harder whenever we receive critical feedback for our ADHD challenges. We likely got stuck in this loop more easily if cognitive flexibility was a weak executive function skill for us. If you're like me, you might not even know how to operate if you did not label many things 'problems' in your life and set out to work hard to 'fix' those problems."
"To work differently, an individual can begin asking more questions when knee-jerk thoughts and feelings arise. Then, an individual needs to brainstorm strategies that are not what they typically do in that same situation. Finally, experimenting with implementing new strategies compassionately and patiently is essential. For some of us, this can actually tap into our ADHD motivation via novel and new experiences."
"Your knee-jerk reaction is to double down on discipline. You tell yourself, 'I just need to try harder. I'll set my alarm 30 minutes earlier and stop being so lazy.' In this moment, you are treating your ADHD like a moral failing that can be cured with enough willpower."
People with ADHD often respond to critical feedback by working harder, creating shame-filled cycles that don't address root causes. This approach fails particularly for those with weak cognitive flexibility. Instead of intensifying effort, individuals can shift toward curiosity by questioning knee-jerk reactions, brainstorming unconventional strategies, and experimenting with new approaches compassionately. This method leverages ADHD motivation through novel experiences. For example, chronic lateness isn't laziness but susceptibility to distractions during transitions. Rather than forcing earlier wake times, identifying actual obstacles and implementing targeted solutions proves more effective and sustainable.
Read at Psychology Today
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