"These moments can make the work more visible, but they are not the only times it shows up. Behind all this joy and love is a lot of work. That is why being open about what is required and asking for help can be important. You can still have things the way you want them; you do not, however, have to do them all on your own."
"If you are the person who usually "just takes care of things" for everyone else, consider why you are doing it. Are you making it seem like no big deal because that is the way it has always been done in your family? If so, consider taking time to plan out the holiday season and the work that comes with it. You might even think of it as a shared family project where everyone gets involved in some way."
Holidays inspire deep affection for family, friends, communities, and those who have been lost, and that affection often generates substantial invisible work. Planning travel, choosing gifts, preparing meals, honoring loss, and decorating to create the right atmosphere require significant time and effort. Visible moments mask ongoing behind-the-scenes labor that sustains celebrations. Being open about what is required and asking for help can reduce the burden while preserving traditions. People who habitually 'just take care of things' should examine why and consider organizing the season as a shared family project. Guilt about not doing everything alone is linked to prosocial motivations, per the International Journal of Ethics.
Read at Psychology Today
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