"Intimate partner sexual abuse affects victims deeply, causing pain, shame, and terror. For domestic abusers, sex is about domination more than pleasure. Over time, abusive sex can damage targets' sense of safety, self-esteem, and well-being. The intimacy of a dating or marital relationship makes it hard to label the unwanted sexual experiences as abuse. The abuser doesn't need to use pressure every time to get compliance."
"Sexual coercion in a relationship is sex that is not exactly forced, but not entirely voluntary, either. Coercion can result in unwanted consensual sex. That is, a target is pressured to consent or submit to unwanted sex. Over time, the target learns that it is easier to give in and "get it over with" than to try to resist. The target may learn to dissociate or turn to substances to endure the sexual acts. But sexual abuse in relationships extends beyond coercion."
"Many domestic abusers think they are entitled to sex and that their partners' feelings about it are irrelevant. Stark (2022) called this "sex on demand." Here's an example: Carol had never lived with a man when she moved in with Steve. Steve asserted his "right" to have intercourse with Carol any time he wanted, regardless of whether she was working, immediately post-partum, suffering from a UTI, or simply tired. He would only hug, kiss, or put his arms around her when having intercourse."
Intimate partner sexual abuse is traumatic, common, and often unrecognized. Abusive tactics include sexual coercion, 'sex on demand,' painful intercourse, strangulation, humiliation, and rejection. Perpetrators often treat sex as entitlement and domination rather than mutual pleasure. Targets may be pressured to consent or learn to acquiesce, dissociate, or use substances to endure unwanted sex. Repeated abusive sexual behavior gradually destroys a person's sense of safety, self-worth, and overall well-being. The intimacy of dating or marriage can obscure the abusive nature of unwanted sexual experiences. Recovery priorities include ensuring physical and emotional safety first, then pursuing steps that promote healing and resilience.
Read at Psychology Today
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