Is Your Therapist a Narcissist?

"Here's a secret about the psychological life of a psychotherapist: your therapist gets a lot of psychological needs met through their clients. Your therapist typically experiences intimacy, attachment, and connection. They (usually) feel valued and appreciated. They (usually) experience a sense of purpose. But-unless the therapist is narcissistic-these rewards are not purposeful. These are wonderful fringe benefits of doing some really tough work in service to you."

"The central question to ask yourself in determining if your therapist is narcissistic is this: Whose needs are really being met here? Picture this scenario: You're sitting in your therapist's office, deep in conversation about the most intimate details of your life. Her cell phone starts buzzing. She looks at her Apple watch, holds up a finger, and says, "Oh, excuse me. I really need to take this call." Then she follows up with the zinger, "Do you mind?""

Therapists often receive intimacy, attachment, connection, appreciation, and a sense of purpose through clinical work, but those rewards are incidental rather than the purpose of therapy. Narcissistic therapists deliberately seek personal validation and may manipulate sessions to obtain positive responses. Examples include taking nonemergency calls during session time and asking patients to permit distractions. Session time belongs to the patient, and ethical practice requires the therapist to be other-centered and focused on the patient’s needs. Patients should evaluate whether the therapist’s behavior centers the therapist or the patient and act if their therapeutic time is being compromised.

Read at Psychology Today