"I have a lot of banter with friends and people around me, I have a humorous side, he said. So for me, when I was watching it, even if I was out in public or there were people around, I'd just be humorous about it. But no one knew the addiction. I'd try to hide it as best I could."
"The worst days my head would be racing at 100 miles per hour. All that will be in my head is porn, sex, everything. There would be a time where I'd just absolutely crave everything I've seen, he said. Every time I watched porn it didn't necessarily mean that I was masturbating. I would literally watch it like you would pull your phone out and watch videos on Youtube or TikTok, Instagram or something. That was me but with porn."
"Lennard began watching pornography as a child, after first seeing sexually explicit scenes at the age of 10 or 11 and seeking out more of that content. When you're young, you are curious about all that kind of stuff, and I guess at first it seemed normal to me because I'm young, it's porn. And it wasn't until as time went on that I started realising that there was an issue when it became so addictive that it was taking up my time."
Ben Lennard used humour and banter to conceal a compulsive pornography habit that began after exposure at ages 10–11. The behaviour escalated over years and intensified in his twenties, consuming time and attention and interfering with school, personal life and relationships. The addiction produced intense cravings and intrusive thoughts, racing mental states, and impaired self-esteem. Consumption often resembled casual social-media viewing rather than only sexual acts, and resisting urges proved difficult. Awareness of the problem emerged as the habit increasingly dominated daily routines and life priorities.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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