"Everybody was acting like we all looked the same and were the same, but it was anything but true. It was our 25th anniversary, and we all seemed older. Some looked healthy. Others were frail. Some had aged dramatically. Some seemed only a few years older. Some were married, some single, some divorced, some widowed. I didn't want to buy into all of the evaluations, but they were relentless. I did my best just to greet people and be together, but it was hard."
"Review your experience and pick out the people you would like to see again. If you have their contact information, reach out to get together. Have it in your mind that you will be in the present with them. Choose something you want to talk about that can bridge past and present. Think of things you would like to discuss. Start off easy. If they slip back in the past, remind them of current events to bring them forward."
A person at a 25th class reunion experienced relentless comparisons of appearance, health, and life status among classmates that felt hurtful. Recommendations include selecting specific former classmates to contact, intending to remain present in meetings, and preparing topics that bridge past and present. Suggestions include gently redirecting others to current events, reminding those upset about aging that they are still living, and cultivating gratitude while addressing any health or life concerns. Another person describes grief after a mother's death, pain at seeing frailty in photos, guilt about wishing for an end to suffering, and distressing thoughts about not wanting to live long.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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