Grieving Someone Who's Still Here

"Grief does not always begin after death. For many families facing dementia, terminal illness, or a slow decline, it arrives before the final goodbye-quietly, persistently, and often without recognition. This is known as anticipatory grief: the emotional process of mourning a loved one who is still alive. As a palliative care physician, I see this every day. Spouses tell me they feel like they have already lost their partner."

"Anticipatory grief refers to the emotional responses that emerge when we expect to lose someone we deeply care about. It is common when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, begins cognitive decline, or enters hospice care. Unlike post-loss grief, which often involves rituals and social support, anticipatory grief unfolds in real time, while care is still being given and decisions are still being made."

Anticipatory grief is the emotional process of mourning a loved one who is still alive, common when a person faces dementia, terminal illness, cognitive decline, or hospice care. The grief unfolds in real time while caregiving continues and decisions are still being made. Emotional experiences include sadness, numbness, fear, guilt, fleeting relief, and swings between functionality and overwhelming exhaustion. The process produces physiological effects: grief activates brain regions involved in physical pain, explaining symptoms such as fatigue, brain fog, and irritability. Caregivers benefit from acknowledging their grief, sharing responsibilities, and accessing emotional and social support to cope.

Read at Psychology Today