Experts Are Calling This Common Family Structure A "Club Sandwich," And You Might Be In One
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Experts Are Calling This Common Family Structure A "Club Sandwich," And You Might Be In One
"Kathy L. is a 46-year-old mother of three in North Carolina. Five years ago, she moved her family back to her hometown in order to help care for her aging parents, but for the past year and a half, the family has devoted significant time and resources to caring for her husband's aunt, who has dementia. Her children were ages 15, 11, and 9 when the aunt came to live with them last summer."
""Dementia patients can often get aggressive because they are confused/scared and don't know what's going on," she explained. While her two older sons were able to handle the aunt's outbursts, her youngest child struggled. Kathy L. said her 9-year-old daughter was "crying every day and was terrified to say or do anything that would set her off." In addition, her husband was granted power of attorney for his aunt, taking care of her finances and clearing out and selling her home."
"In spite of these challenges, Kathy L. says the experience of providing this care wasn't all negative. "I also feel very honored to be able to help," she said. "There are a lot of layers of feelings involved."People like Kathy L. who find themselves in the dual - and at times competing - roles of providing child care and elder care simultaneously are sometimes referred to as the "sandwich generation.""
Kathy L., a 46-year-old mother of three, moved back to her hometown to help aging parents and later cared for her husband’s aunt with dementia, whose presence placed heavy time and emotional demands on the household. Dementia-related aggression and confusion challenged family members, with a nine-year-old daughter experiencing daily fear and distress while older children coped better. The husband obtained power of attorney and managed the aunt’s finances and home. Caregiving produced mixed emotions, including honor amid stress. A Max Planck Institute team used UN 2022 population data to project that biological family networks will become smaller in the future.
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