"The first was a forum for daughters of mothers with narcissistic personality disorder. When its founder converted to a paid model, the restrictions felt like a betrayal, the dynamic became strained, and I lost many valuable connections. Another was a Facebook group for moms who'd experienced life-threatening pregnancy complications. For a time it was nice, but some women became unkind, and it started feeling less like a support group and more like a mean girls' lunch table."
"Yet another was a forum for people who, like me, had left a highly controlling religious denomination. At first, it was great, but after I posted one night-expressing concern that theological arguments were getting overly heated-I awoke to a fight in my comments section and a nasty DM. The last straw: I told one person who had called some members "demonic" that they were making the group feel unsafe, and my comment was deleted by the admin."
Multiple online support communities can devolve from helpful to harmful, causing members to leave to protect mental health. Paid-model shifts, perceived betrayal, and loss of valued connections can fracture trust. Groups formed around shared trauma or identity can develop cliques and unkind behavior that mimic exclusionary social dynamics. Heated ideological or theological debates can escalate into direct attacks, nasty private messages, and administrative censorship. Political or ideological chats can produce cyberbullying, grammar shaming, gaslighting, and name-calling. Unresolved hurt, triggers, and inconsistent moderation can drive repeated retraumatization and discourage continued community seeking.
Read at The Atlantic
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