"As we anticipate gatherings with loved ones and family, it often evokes some anxiety and even dread because your family does not behave like the ones in Hallmark movies. The truth is that many people find the holidays challenging. The anticipation of gatherings can be taxing if there has been a history of conflicts, arguments, and tension in the past, particularly with high-conflict family members (HCPs) who cause a lot of drama."
"You can protect your peace and sanity by having a plan filled with strategies ahead of time as you head into this season. As discussed in my book Adult Children of High-Conflict Parents, there are specific strategies you can use to deal with HCPs, and the holidays are no exception. Maybe you are worried that too much egg-nog, too much togetherness, and old family wounds can all erupt during this time."
Holidays often provoke anxiety and dread because family interactions rarely match idealized portrayals. Anticipation of gatherings can be taxing when there is a history of conflicts and high-conflict family members (HCPs) who escalate tension quickly due to poor boundaries and emotional regulation. Protecting peace requires planning specific strategies, including setting rules of engagement, choosing time limits, and deciding planned responses to hostile moments. Neuroscience techniques like visualization can prime desired outcomes and reduce reactivity. Techniques such as the 'last day on Earth' perspective can soften resentment toward HCPs and make engagements more manageable.
Read at Psychology Today
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