"In a recent meeting, my sponsor, Sally, used her sharing time to talk about another sponsee, who wasn't present. She proceeded to describe in significant detail how the sponsee appeared to be completely in her old addiction. While I'm sure this behavior was disappointing and upsetting to Sally and that she may have needed to process her feelings or vent about this,"
"I have lost trust in my sponsor. I don't feel safe sharing personal information about my own failings, because she may decide it's OK to tell other people about my issues. I have witnessed her engaging in gossip about our group's members in the past, but this crossed a line. I have been her sponsee since 2016. I am trying to decide if I should tell her about my concerns. But I also know it is not my job to fix her."
"I agree that Sally should have discussed this with her sponsor, if for no other reason than a one-on-one conversation could have helped her check her thinking and determine what, if anything, was appropriate for the group and what veered too close to gossip. Every person's recovery journey is unique, and you need to be able to set yourself up for success. So, if Sally's share is presenting an obstacle, for the sake of your recovery, you should explore a new sponsor relationship."
A sponsor disclosed another sponsee's relapse details during a meeting, describing the person's apparent return to old addiction and identifying them by relationship. The disclosure violated anonymity and confidentiality expectations and caused loss of trust, prompting discomfort about sharing personal struggles with that sponsor. The sponsor's repeated gossip raised concerns about safety and privacy for sponsees. One-on-one consultation with a sponsor's sponsor could have prevented public sharing. For personal recovery, exploring a different sponsor relationship—temporarily or permanently—is a reasonable step when a sponsor's behavior becomes an obstacle.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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