After 30 Years, I'm Finally Revealing How A Grown Man Groomed Me When I Was Just 16

"One day, he asked me to cut school to meet him at his apartment. I got good grades, and no one would ever expect me to play hooky, so it was easy for me to sneak away without raising any suspicion. "You must, must, must not tell anyone," I remember him telling me. I was curious and scared and - I didn't realize until much, much later - navigating severe emotional neglect in other areas of my life at the time. So, I met him at his apartment. That was where the grooming came to an end and the assault began."

"There are many reasons why minors cannot consent to sexual relations with adults. Children - including teenagers - cannot see around corners. They do not have the emotional or psychological capacity to fully assess risk, or to know that they're being manipulated, exploited or abused. According to Harvard Law School, "Based on age and development, children - even adolescents - cannot fully appreciate the nature and consequences of serious decisions, which is why many areas of law (general medical care, contracts, military service) do not ordinarily allow children to consent ... Adolescents differ in cognitive, emotional, and psychological development compared to adults." My abuser took advantage of these differences in our development. He knew, as an adult, what he was asking of me, and his insistence that I keep it a secret is proof that he understood the risks, legal and otherwise."

A teenage social connection with an older, charismatic man escalated from group outings to private calls and intense attention. The man encouraged secrecy and asked the teenager to skip school to meet him alone at his apartment. Emotional neglect made the teenager vulnerable to manipulation and desire for affection. The encounter at his apartment shifted from grooming to assault. Minors cannot fully assess risks or appreciate long-term consequences, and developmental differences undermine their capacity to consent to sexual relations with adults. The adult exploited those differences, understood the legal and emotional risks, and demanded silence while presenting himself as a teacher and first sexual partner.

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