"As much as friends have problem-solved with me, empathized with me, and tried to figure things out with me, one of the most helpful things they've done is keep me company-sitting beside me, containing, not fixing. It's not a glamorous way to support someone. And it's certainly not a very strenuous way to support someone. But for me, often, it's all I need."
"Sometimes I feel so horrible in my own skin that it's hard for me to understand why anyone would want to be around me. Watching a movie beside someone or going for a hike and picking mushrooms with friends-like I did today-and saying nothing about the fact that I'm depressed-talking nothing about my feelings, talking nothing about how I don't know if I'm going to feel better-is exactly what I need."
"It helps me get into my body. It helps me stay out of my head. And it helps me realize that the people around me love me no matter how I am. They love me exactly as I am, for who I am. Depression is insidious-those of us who have been there know what I'm talking about. It convinces us not only that we aren't good enough, but that we don't deserve to exist."
Quiet, nonjudgmental presence provides powerful support for people experiencing depression. Sitting beside someone, offering containment rather than solutions, helps them feel accepted without pressure to explain or improve. Shared activities like watching a movie or going for a hike allow depressive symptoms to recede by grounding the person in their body and diverting rumination. Such companionship counters depression's isolating messages that one is a burden or undeserving of love. Casual conversation about neutral topics sustains connection and can keep someone afloat during severe low moments. Presence communicates unconditional care and belonging even when mood or motivation are impaired.
Read at Psychology Today
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