Breast Cancer Made Me Lose My Identity-Solo Travel Helped Me Find It Again

"What I'm recommending is a single mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, and we should do it as soon as possible. When I heard those words in his office in the Parisian suburb of Neuilly-sur-Seine, something inside me broke. This was not the life I was supposed to be living as an American expat. I had moved to Paris from New York City determined to change my life. Instead, less than two years into my new adventure, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34."

"I had always been a woman who took risks and faced challenges head-on. I traveled frequently, camping overnight in the Sahara desert, climbing the Great Wall of China, and dodging persistent vendors in Istanbul's Grand Bazaar. I traveled for work, often escaping hairy situations with quick thinking on my feet. Even moving to France was risky-I had quit my high-profile career, relocated without a job or apartment lined up, and knew minimal French."

"Now, diagnosed with breast cancer, I felt weak and rudderless. I lost agency over my body at the same time as losing my identity."

An American expat living in Paris travels solo to London via Eurostar, enjoying Spitalfields Market and exploring East London before returning home. Upon her return, she receives a breast cancer diagnosis at age 34 and learns she requires immediate mastectomy with reconstruction. The diagnosis profoundly impacts her sense of self, as she had previously identified as a risk-taker and adventurer who traveled extensively and relocated to France to reinvent her life. The London trip takes on new significance as potentially her last opportunity for freedom before surgery. The diagnosis forces her to confront feelings of weakness and loss of agency over her body, starkly contrasting with her previously held identity as a capable, strong woman.

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