"They claim ignorance ("We didn't know you were suffering!", "You never told us you were gay!"), yet they acknowledged long ago that I was "different" from toddlerhood, and they often criticized my "un-boyish" behavior when I was a child. To give you one concrete example: some older kids called me a gay slur when I was seven. I asked my mother what it meant. I can still vividly picture her shock and horror."
"Pandora's Box Opener in my fifties, comfortable in my skin, but I suffered severe bullying throughout school, which was often abetted by teachers. A recent class reunion prompted me to write a tell-all letter to the current school director regarding that trauma. His gracious response was incredibly healing. I have three siblings, PBO, two older brothers and a younger sister. When we became teenagers, our parents gave us experiences for our birthdays instead of toys."
I am a gay man in my fifties who came out in my twenties and received family acceptance but did not disclose the full extent of childhood trauma. I endured severe bullying in school, sometimes abetted by teachers, and internalized shame that prevented disclosure during childhood. A recent class reunion prompted me to write a letter to the school director about the abuse; the director's gracious response provided healing. I shared the letter with one supportive brother but hesitated to share it with my elderly parents, who claimed ignorance despite signs they noticed my difference. I now feel compelled to have an unvarnished conversation with them and seek guidance about whether and how to proceed without disrupting family peace.
Read at Portland Mercury
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