"When someone who has lived openly and comfortably as heterosexual speaks about identifying as gay, it can be deeply painful for those whose lives have been shaped by the realities of actually being gay or lesbian. For many people in the lesbian and gay community, sexuality has not simply been a label but a journey marked by confusion, fear, self-interrogation, and often profound alienation from family, faith communities or societies at large."
"The letter then explains that heterosexual people "never have to 'come out' or "weigh the risk of disappointing loved ones simply for being who they are", while gay and lesbian people have to navigate "marginalisation, stigma," and often "rejection"."
"but to express the hurt that can arise when lived experienced that have involved marginalisation are treated as interchangeable with those that have not"
Olivia Colman described herself as 'a gay man' and said she had 'never felt massively feminine', describing herself that way to her husband. The remark prompted online criticism, with some calling it 'patronising and insulting'. Scottish lesbian group The Fantastic Lesbians posted a two-page letter on X and said it was sent with a 'thoughtful spirit'. The letter explained that a heterosexual person speaking about identifying as gay can be deeply painful for people whose lives were shaped by being gay or lesbian, and noted the distinct hardships of coming out, marginalisation, stigma and rejection. The letter said the intent was to express hurt rather than to attack.
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