In Defense of Effeminate Gay Boys

"What I know now is that gender nonconformity didn't disqualify me from being male. Effeminate boys, however atypical, are a natural variation of their own sex. The notion that they are really girls is anything but progressive."

"I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian community called the Lamb of God, and-perhaps surprising-no one seemed to care about my flamboyance. What mattered was that my heart was on fire for the Lord. The differences between me and other boys became clear to me only at age 12, when I enrolled in seventh grade at a public middle school."

"In many kids who grow up to be gay, gender nonconformity manifests long before overt same-sex attraction does. Yet from peers, from social media, and eve[n]... My childhood experiences make me skeptical about pediatric gender medicine today."

A man raised in a fundamentalist Christian community where his flamboyant behavior was accepted recalls experiencing ridicule only upon entering public middle school, where peers mocked his effeminate mannerisms. He later came out as gay and married a man. As an adult, he committed to creating space for gender-nonconforming boys to be themselves without pressure to change. He emphasizes that effeminacy in boys represents a natural variation of maleness, not evidence of being female. His childhood experiences inform his skepticism about contemporary pediatric gender medicine, noting that gender nonconformity often precedes same-sex attraction in children who grow up gay.

Read at The Atlantic