Many young women identifying as queer reflect on their early experiences with intimacy, often engaging in sexual exploration without clear labels. These experiences occur in familiar social settings and can blend exhibitionism with genuine attraction. Despite a progressive background and supportive education on sexuality, internalized norms affect self-perception and the understanding of sexual identity. The journey includes grappling with concepts like the Kinsey scale, often leading to a realization of one's identity while navigating societal expectations around sexuality and pleasure.
I enjoyed the comfort of conformity. I had a rebellious streak, but it was a carefully calculated, controlled experiment. Even in new experiences, I pretended I already knew what I was doing.
Sex felt like something to master-to be good at-rather than a space for curiosity or pleasure. Much of that sexual power I was slowly learning to harness came with experiences with boys and men.
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