"Alana reports feeling deeply compelled to stay informed and involved. Since the racial justice uprisings of recent years, she has attended protests, and closely tracks anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-Black legislation, and frequently discusses current events at home. She describes her engagement as both moral responsibility and parental duty. "I don't want our girls growing up disconnected," she says. "They need to understand what's happening and how to fight for themselves.""
"Sharon, however, avoids news media and discourages protest participation. She becomes visibly anxious when Alana attends large gatherings and often asks her to stay home or "be careful." She prefers limiting political conversations around the children and describes the constant news cycle as overwhelming and destabilizing. "I just want our home to feel safe," she says. "Not like we're always bracing for the next threat.""
"Alana interprets Sharon's withdrawal as apathy or privilege. To her, disengagement feels like denial of what is going on. "It feels like you don't care," she says. "Like you get to look away.""
"Sharon experiences Alana's activism as risky and frightening. To her, protest participation feels like exposure to violence. "I'm scared something will happen to you," she says."
Historical trauma can influence how LGBTQ+ partners experience safety and visibility in relationships. Collective trauma can influence how queer partners cope with fear, danger, and survival. These different experiences can shape how partners interpret each other’s behavior and respond during conflict. In a parenting partnership, one partner feels compelled to stay informed and involved, attending protests and tracking anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-Black legislation as moral responsibility and parental duty. The other partner avoids news media and discourages protest participation, feeling anxious about large gatherings and wanting the home to feel safe rather than constantly bracing for threats. Disengagement is interpreted as denial or privilege, while activism is experienced as risky and frightening.
#lgbtq-relationships #historical-trauma #collective-trauma #parenting-and-safety #political-engagement
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