"I am twenty years old. I do not want to get married or have children. Not now, not ever. My biggest fear in life is being tied down too young and not knowing who I am. Luckily, my boyfriend respects my choice; he wants me to be happy. But I haven't been lately, because I have a secret. Dear Confused, It is because I am not straight. I am gay. I've come out to him, and he accepts me as I am."
"Regarding disappointing your friends: They will be fine! There's no way your relationship is at all central to their wellbeing. Plus, when they say they want what we have, they're basing that on incorrect information. If you want to give them something to really aspire to, you have to be in a relationship that truly makes you happy and doesn't include secrecy and angst."
A twenty-year-old woman has dated a man for three years and does not want marriage or children. A physiotherapist's question about a "forever person" triggered claustrophobia. The woman came out to her boyfriend as gay; he accepts her. The woman struggles with self-acceptance and fears upsetting family and disappointing friends who love her boyfriend. She fears being tied down and losing identity. The boyfriend respects her choices and the relationship provides warmth, but secrecy causes unhappiness. Honest, authentic living and coming out can inspire friends and allow the woman to build relationships that truly make her happy.
Read at Slate Magazine
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