"I have never been more self-assured in life than I am now at 38. Every relationship in my lifefeels more secure with each waking day. I make more choices for myself now than I ever have,and I care far less about pleasing others than I ever did. But I still regularly pretend to be someone else - possibly even daily. Like Stephen, my formative years were spent playing a completely different character."
"I never really came out to friends. Once I fled Stoke-on-Trent - notoriously homophobic in theearly 00s - to the liberal-leaning Bristol, I simply was an out gay man. I thought that was enough,but I was still in the closet with my family until 2021. If the man I was in Bristol was truly my authentic self, then my family didn't meet him until hewas 33 years old."
Growing up queer in a small, isolated community required adopting different personas depending on the environment. Self-assurance increased by age 38, with more secure relationships and greater autonomy. Despite increased confidence, daily performance of alternate identities persists. Private moments, such as watching Britney Spears performances in the bedroom, provided the only spaces for authentic self-expression. A move from Stoke-on-Trent to Bristol enabled public outness among friends, but family remained unaware until 2021, when the individual was 33. Ongoing concerns about safety and judgment in public spaces prompt continued concealment and moderated behavior. Identity performance is not unique to queer people.
Read at PinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news
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