"I'm very shy until I get to know someone, a people pleaser, and have a hard time saying 'no'. This past weekend, a couple of guys approached me (separate times), but they were not my type and we carried on conversing longer than I wanted. So, what's your response to guys who approach you that are obviously interested in more than friendship, but you don't share the same interests?"
"The most liked suggestion was: 'Nice meeting you! Gonna go do some more mingling.' Other users said they liked this as it came across as friendly, assertive and not dishonest."
Meeting people in gay bars presents challenges distinct from online dating, particularly when declining romantic or sexual advances face-to-face. Many queer men, especially those who primarily used dating apps or were in long-term relationships, may lack experience handling such situations. Shyness, people-pleasing tendencies, and difficulty saying no can make these interactions uncomfortable. A Reddit discussion highlighted this issue when a man in his late 30s sought advice on how to politely rebuff interested individuals at bars. Community responses emphasized friendly, assertive approaches that maintain respect while clearly establishing boundaries, such as indicating a desire to mingle with others.
Read at Queerty
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