"But, to get the most of your fall-foliage experience, I encourage you to abide by these simple 's and DON'T s. DO seek out an elevated vantage point from which to admire our region's leaves, aflame with vivid purples, oranges, and reds, just like the bruises I sustained when I fell off the roof of my house and landed on my binoculars."
"DO enjoy New England's famous hospitality! Unless, of course, you're coming from one of the following states: NY, PA, MI, DE, GA, NJ, OH, KY, TN, UT, AZ, CA, OR, WA, NM, TX, DE, NC, FL. In that case, you and your filthy offspring can vacation facedown in Hades for all I care-just stay the hell away from here. But, as for the rest of you, welcome, friends!"
"DON'T listen to, or even acknowledge, George Hasselback, the callow new president of the East Walpole Leaf Peepers. George is four years old (O.K., forty-two) and thinks it's funny to pronounce the second "c" in Connecticut. (It's not-it's a hate crime.) He also calls leaf peeping "one hoot of a hobby" when it's actually a fire-hued temptress that demands total fealty."
New England's autumn foliage offers vivid purples, oranges, and reds that reward elevated viewing. Seek high vantage points to fully appreciate the colors and protect equipment. Time leaf-peeping outings for days with lighter traffic, such as Sundays during local football games. Exclude visitors from a specific list of states and discourage unwelcome behavior. Avoid engaging with inexperienced local leaders who mock regional pronunciations and trivialize leafing. Hire knowledgeable leaf peepers for richer experiences; recommended individuals combine encyclopedic expertise with local charisma. Local pride and competitive achievement are prominent themes.
Read at The New Yorker
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