A Round of Gulf?

"This summer, on his Scottish golf course, the President played the golf of Scotland, but now that he's back on this continent he can play the golf of Mexico. That country has many five-star golf courses situated on the Gulf of Mexico. They are just a short helicopter hop across the Gulf of Mexico from golf courses owned by Gulf Oil on the Gulf shores of Texas and Florida,"

"The President's Florida home, called Mar-a-laGulf for short, is a hundred and forty miles from the Gulf of Mexico. Golf Oil has built a pipeline across the Miccosukee Indian Reservation that can pipe the President to its Gulf of Mexico golf courses in less than two hours with only a thirty-one-per-cent loss due to leakage, thus partly preserving seabirds, shorebirds, gopher tortoises, gophers, golfers, gofers, and the whole complex web of life that makes up the Gulf of Mexico."

The President shifted from playing golf in Scotland to accessing Gulf of Mexico golf courses near Texas and Florida. Multiple five-star courses sit on the Gulf and lie a short helicopter hop from Golf Oil–owned fairways placed amid pipelines, drilling pads, oil spills, and wellhead flares. The President's Florida residence, Mar-a-laGulf, is 140 miles from the Gulf. A pipeline across the Miccosukee Reservation reportedly transports the President to Gulf courses within two hours with a thirty-one-percent leakage loss, allegedly partly preserving local wildlife. A nearby internment facility is named the Gulf of Mexico Unconstitutional Internment Facility, and the Tamiami Trail name ties regional geography to Gulf origins.

Read at The New Yorker