Help! I Went Swing Dancing to Meet Someone. Then I Learned the Hard Truth About People Who Date This Way.

"I've been swing dancing for many years now, and I've found that a lot of people wind up dating within the scene at some point-including me. But I've learned the hard truth about people who date this way. The people who go solely to find a date don't tend to last long."

"There's definitely a big difference between doing an activity that you enjoy while being open to meeting someone, and dragging yourself to something that you aren't actually interested in to try to pick someone up. -Jools Absolutely. Well, usually. I always have to mention that I have a friend who joined a kickball team to meet guys and married one of them."

"Start by emailing the principal with something like, "Nancy lives with me. I need your help. You might not be the right person for this, but could you direct me to someone who can?" Then share everything you wrote in your letter. These people are trained to make these types of decisions, so you don't have to. And if the school makes the call, then your hands are clean."

Many people who date within activity scenes end up in short-lived relationships. Attending an activity for genuine interest while remaining open to meeting someone produces more durable connections than going solely to find a date. One anecdote notes a person who joined a kickball team to meet partners and married one. Schools offer resources beyond academics and can assist with students' home-life challenges. Parents or guardians should email the principal with a concise description — for example, "Nancy lives with me. I need your help" — and ask to be directed to the appropriate staff. School counselors and staff can arrange check-in lunches, groups, evaluations, therapy referrals, advocacy, and contact child-protective services if needed.

Read at Slate Magazine