Your Hip Surgery, My Headache, by David Sedaris
Briefly

The article recounts the intertwining events of Hugh's hip replacement and Amy’s invitation to be Mrs. Claus in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Amidst the chaos of hospital visits, the narrative humorously explores how Amy, despite the honor, refuses to participate due to early hours, potential rain, and lack of payment. The author's apartment becomes a hub for family, including French friends, juxtaposing their awe of New York with personal dilemmas, highlighting the challenges and absurdities of family life during the holidays.
"The department store that calls itself the House of Macy will not give money to the bride of Father Christmas. For us, this is unacceptable!"
"How can you not play Mrs. Claus?" I asked. Amy ticked the reasons off on her fingers... 'It's supposed to rain. And three: they're not paying me anything.'"
Read at The New Yorker
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