"You might be surprised to learn that someone is determining whether or not your appliances work on a day-to-day basis. That your fridge isn't just malfunctioning because of some electrical failure. It's because of a person, and I am that person, and your appliances are the tools with which I craft my art, and make your life a living hell."
"It's wonderful to finally meet you, or it's terrible to meet you. Which is it? Who knows. That's not how I operate. There is no rhyme or reason to any of my actions. This makes life exciting for you-not in the way a surprise party is exciting but in the way that makes you late for the party so that you accidentally ruin it for the person you were supposed to surprise, because your oven stopped working."
A person deliberately controls household appliances to cause unpredictable failures and daily disruption. Fridges, washing machines, ovens, and dishwashers become tools for exerting power and creating inconvenience. The washing machine runs only when the person chooses, serving as an exercise in control rather than a response to gratitude. The dishwasher is manipulated with calculated probabilities, failing twenty-five or fifty percent of the time and favoring months with thirty-one days. Whim, mathematical planning, and the joy of control motivate these interventions, producing frustration and altered routines for those affected.
Read at The New Yorker
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